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Wednesday, August 11th, 2004
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11:44 pm - ANNOUNCEMENT
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hey folks. i've decided to change my journal name. i was never a big fan of Bitch and Animal, and this name is pretty old, and i'm getting tired of its awkward spelling, anyway. so. my new livejournal name is cislocative. and it can be found here
i've friended everyone who was my friend on this journal, so hopefully you can follow me over. if i've missed anyone, let me know!
see you on the flip side.
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10:35 am - the sky is a hazy shade
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woke up to the rain falling this morning, then fell back asleep and dreamed of dinosaurs. meant i missed breakfast, though. fooey on breakfast only being served until 8:45am!
yesterday i went swimming, and boy, i am not a particularly proficient swimmer. i won't tell you the embarrassingly small number of laps I did before I got pretty out of breath and had to pause, nor how silly i felt when i observed the person in the lane next to me swimming lap after smooth lap, with about 1/8th of my sputtering and splashing. i just kept thinking to myself "at least i'm not putting stress on my joints!" so we'll see how my foray into the world of aquatics turns out. if i don't find a way to improve my technique, i might just hang my head in shame.
hung out with Sara Monsonis yesterday (yay!) and saw the liddle kitty, who has grown up to be a rather large kitty, and continues the same bad behavior as before, except without the "cute clueless kitten" factor to excuse it. today we're going out for lunch.
been working on the wellness presentations. lucky us! we get to tell 140 bored freshman how to put on a condom, and that dental dams aren't just for lesbians. i think the skits will be a hit, though. some of you may remember the bananna skit from last year, and as for the dental dams- we're doing "Martha Stewart Does A Special Broadcast from Women's Prison: Make Your Own Decorative, Functional Dental Dams!"
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| Tuesday, August 10th, 2004
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12:13 pm - each breath is recycled from someone else's lungs
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have finally arrived at the Rock! the journey wasn't too grueling- they showed "Shrek 2" on the first leg of the trip, which was highly enjoyable and quite funny.
it's good to be back. i worked at switchboard for a few hours today, and i've come to realize that the more things change, the more they stay exactly. the. same. seriously, it's almost like i was never away.
i've completely rearranged my room, and i'm excited about the fresh start that will give me. now i just have to unpack and decorate. fortunately, i've got plenty of Backstreet Boys and 'NSync to listen to while i work.
i've been bowling both of the two nights i've been back. i must say, last night was the first time i'd ever seen an Orthodox Jewish family at a bowling alley, let alone in Great Barrington. but hey, there's a first time for everything.
i miss my absent friends. a lot. and it's been harder than i thought answering questions about Georgette. it's...not hard, exactly, but different being here without her. lonely.
i've got the same phone number and email address i had last year, so if any of y'all need to contact me, it should be easy.
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| Saturday, August 7th, 2004
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9:39 am - don't know when i'll be back again
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leaving for school tonight, 9:55pm. arriving tomorrow, 10:25am. let's hear it for that Red-Eye flight!
now, i have my last 2 hours of work to attend to. i'm sorry this isn't a real entry.
charlotte, if you're reading this- I lost your cell phone number. i know have it again, thanks to email, but that does mean that i haven't intentionally been neglecting you.
i don't usually write that much important, revealing, emotional stuff in here. but i do want to say that i'm feeling much better about where i am in my life, and where the people i care about are in relation to me. Georgette and I said goodbye, and it was devestating but good. i feel like we worked some things out, and i don't feel like she hates me, and i sure don't hate her. we can both start mourning and letting go and learning how to be separate now. i drove away into typical portland weather, tears drying on my face, rainclouds behind me, straight into the sunshine.
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| Wednesday, August 4th, 2004
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8:56 am - last chance
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so i'm packing up all my stuff- i'm almost done. i've got a big pile of laundry to do, and a stack of papers and stuff, but i'm mostly packed, and it's mostly all fitting into two suitcases. rock on.
it's possible that i'll be seeing Mikey today, if he calls me. i want to ask him about BHSEC- maybe I can find work there for a while after SRC. Pat Sharpe mentioned it to me last year when she thought that I was a senior. maybe now that I actually AM a senior, she'll reiterate the offer?
and even though this morning started out not the greatest when i overslept (although it was beccause of a very interesting dream involving this girl i saw at the library yesterday, and me getting a new job at Arby's, and having to commute to Great Barrington from Portland every day.) anway. the morning got better when, in very exciting news, Anne O'Dwyer (chair of the psych dept, for you non-Rockers) at last replied to my email. she said that we should set up a time to talk at the beginning of the semester about my thesis, and that she'd be interested in combining my potential thesis funding with her faculty development funding so that we could get the necessary equipment for me to run a Reaction Time experiment in PsyScope. yet another reason for me to be looking at getting a new computer. i'm thinking about a G4 powerbook, but I'm not sure.
ALSO. if any of you Portlanders are dying for my company, i'm pretty much free all day thursday and friday, as i run a few errands and try to soak up my last bits of Portland. so give me a call either at Hawthorne or at my mom's place or drop me an email, and i would love to hang out with you.
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| Monday, August 2nd, 2004
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3:09 pm - what to think?
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while fiddling around on the internet today, i found this article and i find myself amused and infuriated all at once.
in case the link breaks, here's the text ( Read more... )
it's odd to be refered to in the third person by someone who has never met me, and has no idea what I might be like. I'm furious at the implication that my mother somehow failed in raising me. and I certainly don't want to be held up as an example of why their point of view is correct. and WHAT, may I ask, is wrong with locating "communities of kindred spirits that share deviant appetites?"
on the other hand, it's not as offensive as I assumed it would be at first glance. so it's odd.
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10:28 am - one more small piece of vanity
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10:13 am - wonder of wonders
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summer has been flying by, and is about to come to a close. i hope i'll have time to see everyone i want to before i leave. if anyone wants to mark their social calendars, i think there will be a small get-together at our house this friday to celebrate or mourn (depending on your persepective!) my departure for the East Coast.
without further ado:
I GOT MY DRIVER'S LICENSE! the second time is indeed the charm, and i passed with flying colors. if you'd like to see my small piece of glory, ( Read more... )
what else is there to report? i'm trying to clear out the rust from my (metaphorical) gears, shine things up before i head back to school. i'm worried i'll be lonely at the Rock, with the departure of many of my nearest and dearest. thankfully, not everyone left- and some are even returning! plus, i've been promised visits, and i'm going to extract those promises from those of you who made them!
drove to the beach this weekend to see Mr. Nick's beach house. i only almost killed us once on the way there. anyone could've done it. seriously, my driving is fine.
i guess i should go find something actually work-related to do.
before i go, a little something to remember me (and Conor!) by. hopefully, he won't be offended that i posted this. and no, there isn't actually any penetration involved in the scene pictured below.
( Read more... )
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| Thursday, July 29th, 2004
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2:09 pm - makes one eight-ounce serving
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i'm supposed to meet my co-worker back at the lab "in one hour" but i can't remember what time we said that. it could've been over an hour ago. alas, alas.
so we're having a party this weekend. in fact, tomorrow. friday. 8:30-9ish. tentative theme: "Wasting Away Again in Margaritaville" so bring hawaiian shirts, cowboy hats, tequila and coronas. hopefully, we will be in possession of all of those, too, by the time tomorrow rolls around. speaking of which, does anyone know how to make a margarita?
anyway. call me for directions if you don't know where we live/what to wear/want to RSVP, etc. 503-234-0505
also, HEATHER FROST! it's come to my attention that you read this. email me? i miss you!
um, yeah. maybe i should get back to work.
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| Monday, July 26th, 2004
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1:25 pm - death first
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someone get me Human Rights Watch on the phone (Sarah Parady? are you there?) because I swear it must be certifiably against some kind of torture laws to make me sit here trying to work while my co-worker is cranking up the volume on each succesive 'They Might Be Giants' cd. I should've made my escape when i heard her say "ooh, look! all 7 albums!" at least she's going to Hawaii tomorrow. which is kinda too bad, because she's super hardcore when it comes to getting shit done. i just can't really abide that music in large doses.
my next DMV appointment is set for next friday at 3:50pm. wish me luck! i've been practicing. i WILL conquer the road. one of these days.
now i have to go and put things in the mail before the mail gets picked up. word.
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| Sunday, July 25th, 2004
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1:51 pm - love is a gift from up above
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had a splendid lunch by myself today at NoFishGoFish! for you Portlanders, it's on Hawthorne, between 39th and 40th. their little fish-shaped sandwiches are SO tasty, and the place itself has great atmosphere. the owner and staff are really friendly too. two of them asked me why they don't see me on tuesday night, which is the "women who love women" theme night, with the theme drink being the 'Venus of Willendorf'- some godawful concotion involving brandy, half and half, and two boob-like candies. anyway, they were shocked and then regretful to find out that i was not yet 21. one asked "what are you, 20?" and I said "Nearly." 18 is nearly 20, right? it's closer to 20 than I've ever been before!
so now i'm at work, sort of doing work but mostly making mix CDs for people with this vast array of music i have on the computer. i repeat- does anyone want a mix cd?
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| Saturday, July 24th, 2004
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8:37 am - zippity dah
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so yesterday got better after the failing-of-the-driver's-test part, because 1) i got a very excellent book called "Becoming a Visible Man" by Jamison Green, who is a transman wrter and activist. there were passages in the book that spoke to me in a goosebump inducing way, despite the record-breaking heat yesterday. i want to buy a copy and mark it up with pencil lines, scribble my own truths in the margins. the temptation to do so yesterday was almost overwhelming, but i couldn't quite bring myself to write in a library book.
also, it has a lot of good, basic information, presented in a friendly, accessible way. it would be an excellent book to get a friend or parent or sibling or teacher who doesn't know much about the trans movement but is willing to get some information. so check it out, folks.
also, my day got 10x better when i came home to a really excellent piece of mail, from one of my favorite people (Hi! It arrived safe and sound! Thank you so much! You rock my socks off, you crazy ex-Rocker, you!) who is coming to the west coast just as i'm leaving it. (just wait- i'm going to come crash at your classy Canadian pad during intersession, and hone my alliteration skills even further)
this morning, i came to work at 7:30 so I could set up for my 8 am subject....who has not arrived. it's now 8:45, and I have to start preparing for the 9am subject. grrr. how are we supposed to run a scientific inquiry like this, huh? i ask you! let's see a little professionalism. we're gonna pay these people $40 for 45 minutes of sitting in front of a computer screen and clicking when directed to. the least they could do is actually show up when scheduled.
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| Friday, July 23rd, 2004
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3:58 pm - not just a failure
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so i failed my driver's license test today. who knew that trying to make a left turn from the right-hand lane was grounds for automatic failure? at least i did everything else right, and i only have to wait 7 days to take it again, still, somewhat disappointing. guess my lucky green boxer briefs didn't really work their mojo today.
in other news, star's party is tonight, and i can't wait!
also, i return to simon's rock two weeks from tomorrow. how'd that happen?
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| Friday, July 16th, 2004
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7:22 pm - months flow like water
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last year at this time, i had this to say in my everpresent livejournal:
"summer is progressing very nicely. alison cohn and i are starting a dyke fraternity. we're going bowling tonight, to start practicing for our bowling and poker nights. we're gonna get pink bowling shirts with our names on them. hers is Big Gay Al. mine, of course, is Skip.
today we planted radishes and parsnips and hot peppers and cucumbers and these things called lemon cucumbers, which are like round yellow lemon-looking cucumbers. i'm very intrigued."
ahh, the beginnings of Sigma Chi Omega! I must say, i've been very neglectful of the portland chapter. I've only been bowling twice this summer- we didn't make it the other night, choosing to sit home on the porch instead. something we do more and more frequently as the weather gets hotter.
i have many things rumbling around in my head today. most of which have to do with why this subject hasn't called me back, resulting in me still being at work at 7:30pm. on the upside, my coworker Cameron has uploaded 16GB of music onto the other computer in the lab, and i've put it on random. there is some very excellent stuff in there, covering a wiiide range, and a lot i've never heard of- everything from old time folk (gordon lightfoot!) to terrible pop music (wanksta? who names a song wanksta?) to loads of spanish music. i particularly like the old-fashioned trios from the 50s. who wants a mix cd?
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10:55 am - in my mind
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the other day Star called and said "Hi, Emlyn!" and it was a strange thing, because I had just been thinking that very day about how much I like the name Emlyn. It's the name my father proposed for me, before they settled on Emmalyn, which could be shortened to Emma, and which most of my friends now shorten to Em. usually I introduce myself as Emma, as that is what i'm commonly known as, but I do prefer a more gender-neutral name. Em often seems to short to introduce myself with, though- too informal. and it's also to some extent a mark of a kind of intimacy. only people who know me call me Em. but I do like Emlyn. quite a lot. maybe i'll start signing off as Emlyn. even if it does, as O'Keefe reminded me, rhyme with gremlin.
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| Wednesday, July 14th, 2004
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12:06 pm - real life
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so life continues to suck and be excellent in equal parts. what the heck is up with that? i thought life was either supposed to be great or be terrible, not this confusing mix of the two.
preparations continue for O'Keefe's birthday. gonna be a hot time in the old town tonight! well, tomorrow night, technically.
but! speaking of hot times tonight! anyone want to go bowling? we're going to Hollywood Lanes at 9:30pm. call me/comment here if you want to go, or just show up and meet us there.
also, i'm going with Enriqueta to the Hilllsboro Latino Cultural Center today, so we'll have plenty of time in the half hour each way drive to talk about my thesis. good ideas are brewing...
oh, and i'm sorry (regarding previous posts) for being a picture tease. they always work for me, no matter how many times i test it! i don't understand. so sorry.
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| Monday, July 12th, 2004
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5:07 pm - i'm in the archipelago and i'm waiting to arrive
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i narrowly escaped death and/or dismemberment this afternoon, folks! it would have been a rather fitting way to go, though, i must admit. but who knew the Reed library could be such a scary place? there i was, minding my own business amidst the PA6274s, when suddenly the shelf i'm leaning against begins to move. you see, Reed has moveable shelves- very practical, space-saving, etc. they allow the shelves to be slid along tracks in the floor to scrunch up next to each other, while the one necessary aisle is open. some dunderhead hadn't checked to see if the open aisle was occupied before he started turning the crank to get to the aisle of his choice. the aisle i was in started closing in on itself, preparing to smoosh me between its shelves. it was only my indignant and startled squawk of "Excuse me!" that saved my life.
in other news, last night we had a very very very amusing episode on the bus. O'Keefe, Gjet and I clambored aboard the #19 on our way to PDX Pop Now (more on that in a sec) and settled on some seats near the middle of the bus. behind us were two Latino gentlemen, maybe in their early 20s, who gave Kate the look-over two or three times as she walked down the aisle to our seats. they started speaking in Spanish, saying things along the lines of "hey, do you think i could get her number??" and "maybe she'll be your girlfriend!" (according to Gjet and Kate, who both understand and speak Spanish, unbeknownst to these guys). Kate waited a minute or two, then turned, perfectly nonplussed, and addressed a question to them in perfectly unaccented Spanish....much to their complete astonishment. not knowing spanish myself, i couldn't really follow the ensuing exchange, but I gathered that she was telling them about how she has Chilean family, and is in Portland for the summer with her two "amigas".
we got off the bus two stops later and chortled all the way down the street about the looks on those guys' faces when they realized that the object of their conversation could understand every word they said!
we only went to see Mirah at PDX Pop Now (music festival) at the Meow Meow. I thought i knew right where we were going, but it turned out that the Meow Meow has moved since the only time I'd ever been there (just about exactly two years ago) for a first date at a Gossip show. so i got us a bit lost on the way there, but we found it, and i was glad to see that the new space is larger, more exciting, and contains not a trace of not-quite-painful-but-still-kinda-crappy memories.
Mirah was amazing, as the crowd obviously knew beforehand. i was very thankful that i've mostly conquered my childhood claustrophobia, because we were packed up to the stage 'til we couldn't move. Gjet and I were joking about how we'd totally fry if a fire broke out, and thank goodness it didn't, because we absolutely would have. after the show, I bought 2 of her cds- the new one 'C'mon Miracle' and 'Advisory Committee'.
then this morning i was going to get up and go into work early, but in the end, i didn't. i conquered my laziness and started getting out of bed, but then couldn't quite vanquish the other weaker points in my character. now that i'm awake, of course, i'm regretful. but i got to work before anyone else, anyway. naturally. it's quiet around here this week, with quite a few lab folks out of town, but i like the peace.
gosh, this is chattier than usual. sorry folks. this is Em, over and out.
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1:13 pm - for kate "monster" o'keefe
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Paul Revere
The thunder of hooves on cobblestone
Mid April and the air is warm
He rides for the world that he knows
May there be a fresh horse waiting
in every town where he goes
I'm also riding in the night
Centuries between us, another kind of fight
In my blood the red coats coming
How free are we in this land of plenty?
And I, heard it on the news this morning
Today's the day that Paul rode
From Boston to Concord
To tell the minutemen of the invasion
I'm gonna ride all the way
From your house to mine and
Tell my minutemen to become hours, to become days
To let this linger on
It's this pursuit of happiness
That seems to constantly pursue us
Rushing towards the jingle of coins
Secure in jobs we can't enjoy and I
I heard it on the news this morning
Obedient to these pale screens
So bent on having we can't be
Offered life and liberty
I look around me, what does this mean?
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1:04 pm - visual stimulation!
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hi!
so while i have access to a scanner at Reed, i'm going to keep scanning random pictures and then posting them. for fun. unfortunately, no pictures have been taken of the flattop yet. which i haven't been keeping very flat, because of a lack of hair product to make it behave.
but. other pictures! some of you (my strange, ever-changing, mysterious audience!) might find yourselves within...(and if you are within, and don't want to be, let me know, and i'll remove ye) ( Read more... )
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11:26 am
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Post anything that you want as a comment, and post it anonymously. Anything.
A story, a secret, a confession, a fear, a love - anything. Be sure to post anonymously and honestly. Post twice if you'd like. Then, put this in your LJ to see what your friends (and perhaps others who you don't even realize read your LJ) have to say.
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